Why Can't We Be Friends? A Candid Series of 2 Interviews
By:
Demon
Note: The following is a joke and should not be taken seriously.
Hey, What's up? I was just cruising down the road on my skateboard.
I was to go to the store but I stopped at the Video Game Store first.
The guy in the store told me there were two interviews today and the
guys who were to be in them were WAITING for someone to ask them stuff.
So I went back there and saw Mario, Sonic, and Crash arguing, as usual.
I then said "ATTENTION, PEOPLE!" and they looked they knew
it was interview time. We then began. Here is entirely what happenend:
Me: Well guys I glad we could meet here to talk.
Mario: Yeah, I have some things I want to get off my chest!
Sonic: A very FAT one! HAHAHA!!!
Mario: Shut up, you demented blue freak!
Crash: Be quiet and let the man talk!
Me: Ok. Mario, What do you think of Sonic and Crash?
Mario: You know what I think of'em. I just don't want them to go away
yet. Why? Because I HAVE TOO MUCH FUN ARGUING WITH THEM!
Sonic: Well, I could dust your fat hyde in any race, chubby!
Crash: So what? I could beat you both in any sport because I'm athletic?
Me: Sonic, what do you REALLY think of Mario and Crash?
Sonic: Well, I have some respect for the plumber. I guess if it weren't
for him, Games wouldn't be great and I wouldn't exist!
Me: and Crash?
Sonic: Crash has a ton of Ground to make up.
Crash: and some of it's in your head!
Sonic: HEY!
Me: WHOA, TIME OUT! Crash, what do you think of Spyro?
Crash: Well, he's ok. It's nice to have another person help me rule
Gaming with the Sony Empire.
Mario and Sonic: The Empire Strikes Back! HAHAHA!!!!
Crash: HEY! Don't make me blow you up with a TNT Crate!
Mario: You ripped that off of DK Country's TNT Barrels!
Me: Hold on! Hold on! Mario, lately Sonic and Crash haven't been your
problem. Link and Pikachu, who work for Nintendo also and are going
to be interview with you later, have been your close rivals. What
do you think of them?
Mario: Link I respect. But I wish He hadn't cut his game time into
my production schedule. You know how I feel about Pokemon. I hardly
ever get work because of them!
Sonic: The mascot not getting work? Well, you could always join Sega....
Crash: He'd be better with Sony!
Me: Let's NOT discuss it. What do you guys think of Microsoft?
Sonic: What's a Microsoft?
Crash: You know, that PC company Bill Gates runs....
Mario: Let's not talk about them.
Me: Well guys I guess it's time to wrap things up.
Later that day, I returned to the store to find Link, Mario, and Pikachu
arguing. I knew another one was starting.....
(Note: Pikachu's speech will be in perenthisis.)
Me: Well, guys, you're here, so let's begin. In the last interview,
Mario, you said what you thought of Link and Pikachu. Now that the
3 of you are here, I want to know your other opinions.
Mario: Like I said, Pokemon is making me lose money!
Pikachu: (We are not! Nintendo's just been looking for someone who
could represent the company the right way for a long time!)
Mario: Yeah, right! Someone who WASN'T created by Nintendo in an unoriginal
series....
Pikachu: (HEY!)
Link: Not to mention the cause of kids killing each other to get his
merchandise....
Pikachu: (Well, you guys haven't had any real activity since Super
Smash Bros!)
Mario: Where I BEAT you both....
Link: HEY! I did win my share of matches!
Piakchu: (I destroyed you both!)
Mario: Well how about a match right now!
Link: You're on!
Piakchu: (Let's rock!)
Me: Well, I guess we can end it right here....
As you could see, both interviews didn't go that great, because they
ended up fighting each other at the end. Yes, Mario did fight Sonic
and Crash.... IN THE BATHROOM! They were throw soap at each other,
hitting each other with mirrors, etc.
But know you know, Video game characters will ALWAYS be at war with
each other.
