46
reasons not to see Pokemon the Movie 2000
By: Joe
Clev
A while back,nintendo power published 50 reasons to go see pokemon the movie 2000,in a blatant attempt hype up the cash bovine known as pokemon,I shall now respond to these idiot reasons in turn:
1.A
legend comes true.
1.If I went to see every movie where a legend came true,Id be one poor
man.
2.Ash
becomes an action hero.
2.I do not consider a person who doesn't have the foresight to change
clothes in over a year,an action hero.
3.Another
talking pokemon.
3.I think another silent pokemon would attract me more.
4.Lugia.
4.As I have said, more pokemon is the last thing this world needs.
5.5,6
and 7 repeat the names of three pokemon.
5.See above.
8.Pokemon
galore.
8.Now that does cast a shadow on the movie.
9-23.
Pokemon names.
9-23. I shudder reading them,let alone watching the things dance on
the screen.
24.Even
more pokemon.
24.Argh.
25.An
obsessive collector.
25.We see those sorry saps on the street and schoolyard every day,why
would we
want to pay 7 dollars just to look at another one?
26.New
pokemon cards!
26.There will always be new pokemon cards, as long as the earth is round.
27.Mew
card.
27.A promotion that NO person can read,wow,I think Ill wet my pants
in
antcipation.
28.Articuno,zapdos,moltres
cards.
28.There are much more interesting ways to waste time.
29.Three
words:An imperfect storm.
29.Three words:A pointless reason.
30.Team
rocket reforms
30.How about reforming thier hair?
31.See
old friends
31.Not them again.
32.Meet
new friends.
32.More people to kiss up to pikachu.
33.The
end of the orange islands.
33.The end of the tv show would be very appealing.
34.New
lands to explore.
34.Have these people no shame? Milk the cash bovine japan.
35.Pikachus
rescue adventure.
35.Rescue what? His creators brain capacity?
36.Togepi
gets exeggcuted.
36.If your sister liked pokemon too,you know what the reason means,otherwise,that
reason would alone be reason to watch it.
37.See
plenty of pokemon in thier natural habitat.
37.And they can stay there.
38.Pikachu
becomes an action hero.
38.How can someone with a vocabulary of one word be anything more than
a
nursery toy?
39.Never
before seen pokemon.
39.For all I care,they can remain unseen.
40.Ledyba,elekid,bellossom.
40.More pokemon to loathe.
41.Action!
41.Yeah,Im sure.
42.Mystery..
42.Why anyone would watch it IS a mystery...
43.Special
effects.
43.Yes! Drawn by a two year old obviously
44.Movie
soundtrack.
44.People with long hair screaming about retarded midgets is a real
good reason....
45.See
it before the inevitable oscar buzz.
45.Now this one makes me mad. Oscar buzz? The highest rating that movie
got was three measly stars. Oh boy. But of course,the movie can't go
wrong with the pokemon fans,it could be about people parading around
in thier underwear for 2 minutes and the pokemon fans would rave about
it,saying how cool it was,a movie made only to peak upon popularity
and made in a 3 day span and a 5 dollar budget. And they think it'll
get an oscar? Pitiful.
46.One
person can make all the difference.
46.Finally,I say,a person must have intelligence at least above an average
house plant to make a difference,which no one in pokemon has.
Bye all.
