By: Elizabeth Wilbanks
Well... It has been years and years since Nintendo surprised us by telling the world that Bowser had children. (Real father of the year material, eh?). The following is a collection of theories on how Bowser was ''blessed'' with those seven bundles of torment.
The Koopa kids
| Theory #1. | A koopa hottie snagged Bowser as a husband, divorced him for half of everything, and left him to care for Ludwig, Roy, Morton, Wendy, Iggy, Lemmy and Larry. |
| Theory #2. | Bowser did the deed with a koopa chick and had her killed afterwards. (although, the Koopa kids wouldn't have been born if that happened.) |
| Theory #3. | Bowser kidnapped Peach did the deed with her instead. |
| Theory #4. | Bowser married a very VERY shy woman that likes to stay out of the public eye, and doesn't mind if he frolics around with Peach. (Yeah..like a woman like that EXISTS!) |
| Theory #5. | The Koopa Kids are all adopted. |
| Theory #6. | Bowser got some scientists to try to clone him, but something went horribly wrong, and the clones were botched versions of Bowser. |
| Theory #7. | The Koopa Kids are super-real looking robots built to win over the voting public to create that ''Family Man'' image. |
| Theory #8. | Bowser made 7 wooden puppets and wished on a lucky star that he'd have some real kids someday. |
| Theory #9. | Nintendo created them out of the blue with no background or reason, and that's the end of it. |
But until Nintendo enlightens us all, we can only imagine how Bowser came
to be a father, or who Queen Koopa was, or if she even really existed.
