NintendoLand Deathmatch summary
Agahnim VS. Kamek

The Deathmatch arena is painted in a brilliant, vibrant color scheme of gold on black; during the the contrast of these two colors is rather unappealing, but during night matches they encourage the tense, excited mood that always surronds the arena. Behind one side of the arena there is a very ugly, unattractive area that resembles a dump, which serves as a sort of loading dock for the arena and is seldom seen by the crowds. A mess of cleaning supplies lies on the bare dirt ground, and scattered between them are broken boards and poles of metal and plastic, souvenirs from previous matches.
Tonight, a crowd of Kremlins and Starmen are at the docks, unloading some live cargo that has been shipped for the upcoming match. As the strong, burly Kremlins and Starmen unload him, we see that he is an extremely ugly teenage boy, about 17 or 18, with dark hair and very pale blue eyes, who resembles a child's scribble drawing of ink of fingerpaints. The boy's body is slender and thin, so the men have no trouble dragging him in kicking and screaming, holding his arms to prevent him from using a small toy shotgun which hangs in a holster from the belt at his waist. The men unloading him laugh and jeer at him as they drag him into the arena.
Above, Canus Major and Canus Minor follow at the heels of Orion as he paces around the night sky, clutching his bow and shield, continuing on the eternal quest to find his enemy Scorpio...
Inside the arena, the hosts are preparing to give the introductions to tonight's fighters. Mario and Luigi are out of their usual attire, but are instead donned in matching red and green tuxedos and top hats. This gives the crowd an apprehensive, anxious air, as though they know there is something special about tonight's match of which they are not aware, and they are unusually silent as they puzzle over what it could be.
 
Mario: Hello and welcome, Deathmatch fans!
 
The crowd positively goes crazy in response, as though they have been waiting to release the tension that seems to hang over tonight's match. The screams are so loud and long that they seem to reach the night sky above, where Orion still paces the sky above, though he and his faithful hunting dogs cannot be seen from the arena; they are overshadowed by the glaring bright lights.
 
Luigi: Well, that's good folks, 'cause we've got a great show for you tonight! Two famous wizards from two of the most popular gaming series are just ready and raring to go at each other in what we hope will be one of the most knock-down, drag-'em-out fights this arena has ever seen!
 
The crowd roars even louder, so loud that Orion and Canus Major and Minor seem to tremble in the stars above. Particularly loud cheers come from what is left of Gannon's minnions and Bowser, who is seated with his seven children on either side of him.
 
Mario: As most of you already know, these Deathmatch nights are night when anything can happen, and, take my word for it if you don't know already, it usually does. So hang onto your seats, grab 'em tight -- oh, but mind the chewing gum -- and get ready 'cause we've got some surprises in store for you tonight!
The noise of the crowd grows even louder with raw excitement. Mario and Luigi are now positively screaming to make themselves heard over the din.
 
Luigi: All right, folks, our first fighter has only appeared in three games -- Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island, Super Mario RPG, and Tetris Attack -- but his life and accomplishments continue to affect and inspire games today even as he is not present in them. His influence is visible everyday in the many people who have known him, including the royal family of Bowser and the Koopa Kids. ("That's us, King Dad, that's us!" Morton cried joyfully to his father as Lemmy and Iggy gave each other five-highs and said, "All right!" and "Hot dog!")
 
Mario: So without further ado, please put your hands together repeatively for our first fighter, all the way from the royal palace at Darkland, Kamek!
The crowd cheers as Kamek enters the arena from one of the doors at the bottom, in the fighting area. Bowser lets out a full-fledged roar and Roy calls, "Get 'em, Kam, get 'em!" Iggy and Lemmy yell, "Give that barfy old codger what for, Kamek!" and "Come on, Kammie, I've got fifty gold coins ridin' on this fight!"
 
Luigi: Although our second fighter has only been featured in one game -- Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past -- he lives on in all games in the amazingly popular Zelda Series through his alterego, Gannon, one of the most popular Nintendo villians. So please give up for our second fighter in tonight's deathmatch, all the way from Hyrule, Agahnim!
As Agahnim entered the fighting area of the arena from a door opposite the one Kamek entered, the crowd cheered even louder, many standing up or on top of their seats.
 
Mario: OK, everybody, let's get this show on the road -- pardon the cliche, if you will. Game start!
Agahnim: This is what I'm up against? How pathetic...I'm quite insulted. Oh, well, I'll just make a quick job of this so I can go back home and finish watching Days of Our Lives. All right, Kamek, eat this!
He begins to power up Dragonball Z style. But while he is doing this, Kamek grabs his broom with one hand. As he holds it, it begins to pulse, change, and glows a brilliant gold that causes everyone in the audience to shut their eyes or turn their heads in the opposite direction. Once the glow dies down, the broom is no longer a broom, but a butterfly net. Agahnim hurls the ball of energy toward Kamek, but he sets his feet and and swings the net like a baseball bat, sending the ball of energy into over the heads of the audience and into the night sky. The audience lets out a chorus of oos and ahs as heads swivel to watch the ball of energy dissapear into the darkness. Someone, most likely Iggy or Lemmy, yells, "Home run!" and everybody laughs. Kamek smirks as he casually leans his butterfly net from side to side.
 
Luigi: Nice block by Kamek! As we discovered in A Link to the Past, Agahnim's energy ball, one of his most powerful attacks, can be repelled by only two things -- a bug-catching net or the game's master sword. Oh, looks like Kamek is now moving into some offensive attacks...
In another flash of blinding gold light, Kamek has transformed his butterfly net back into a broom. With remarkable speed for a fairly old Magikoopa, he straddles his broom and soars into the air above the heads of the crowd. He pauses in mid-air to look down at Agahnim, and then pulls out his wand and points it at his enemy.
 
Kamek: Reducio!
 
A split-second after Kamek yells this, Agahnim fires another ball of energy. It slices through the hot night air toward Kamek, but he only grips his wand tighter and performs another spell.
 
Kamek: Repellio!
 
At two inches away from Kamek's face, Agahnim's ball of energy is suddenly jerked into the opposite direction. It crashes back onto the grassy floor of the arena, sending smoke and dust particles up in every direction. Once the debris has cleared, we see a huge crater has been formed where the ball of energy landed and that Kamek's first spell has reduced Agahnim to a height of about four inches. The crowd draws a collective breath.
 
Mario: Another hard attempt by Agahnim, but Kamek is well-known for being the fastest wand-handler in Nintendoland. He managed to not only block Agahnim's shot but also to shrink his opponent with the reducio spell. Luigi: And I'd certainly say that Kamek was striking a bit below the belt that time. After using that spell, the fight is definetly looking in his favor, and I hope he's got a spell to fix that crater 'cause I know we'll never be able to cough up the funding to fix it --
 
Mario: And it looks like Agahnim still has a few tricks up his sleeve! Let's see if he can still turn this fight around...
Agahnim has remained silent for the last few minutes; he has his eyes closed and his shoulders heave as he once again gathers his energy. All at once, in one swift, smooth motion, he raises his one-inch arms above his head and huge bolts of lightning shoot out of his hand, growing like tree branches toward Kamek. Kamek looks frantically in every direction for a place to dodge them, but they are rapidly encircling him like a cage.
 
Luigi: The lightning attack! By far Agahnim's most powerful move! I don't Kamek will be able to find a way out of this one. Unlike the energy balls, Agahnim's lightning bolts cannot be repelled by anything...Even if there was a spell that could repel them, I don't think Kamek would be able to use it --
 
Mario: Yes, he probably can't see Agahnim from that height, especially not with all those lightning bolts surronding him. I'm not so sure it was wise of Agahnim to lay down his trumph card so early in the game, but it looks like Kamek won't be able to find a way out of this. Kamek is electrecuted by various lightning bolts from all sides; he falls off his broom and plummets to the ground below...The crowd starts to gasp and scream, but Kamek manages to hol onto his wand with one hand and perform a spell before he hits the ground that slows his speed a little. He lands on the hard dirt near the giant crater, the wind knocked out of him. Bowser yells from the audience, "Come on, Kamek, get up, get up! You can beat this guy, Kamek!" as the Koopa Kids all stare in stunned silence. Agahnim bites his lip and concentrates very hard to turn the lightning bolts toward Kamek, who is lying still on the other side of him. As they spark and hiss and draw nearer to Kamek's limp body, the crowd is suddenly unusually silent. Only a few people notice when Kamek lets out a low moan and moves one pale hand out from under his robes and grabs his wand; he weakly points his wan! d toward Agahnim and mutters some indistinguishable words. At once, Agahnim is knocked off his feet and falls backward; his concentration is broken and the lightning
bolts immediately disspear.
 
Mario: Looks like Kamek is still hangin' in there! That Magikoopa's a tough one to kill off, I'll say that for him...I think he may still stand a fighting chance.
 
Luigi: I don't know about that. Agahnim still seems pretty mad about being shruken down to four inches; he's probably still out for more revenge, and Kamek got the wind knocked out of him pretty badly from that fall. Let's see if he can pick himself up...
Agahnim has flung both his arms forward and is forming another ball of energy. As it glows and takes shape in front of him, it divides itself into six balls of energy. Kamek, meanwhile, has picked a nearby rock up off the ground. He tosses it weakly toward Agahnim and uses his wand to transmogrify it. The rock becomes a puppy, a muddy, frisky, hyper Australian Shepard -- from Agahnim's viewpoint, a fatal enemy. As the puppy notices him and begins to bark and snap at him in a playful sort of manner, Agahnim's turns and runs screaming out the stadium, all too aware of those sharp teeth that are half as big as he. As the puppy races after him, the high-pitched yaps and barks echo around the stadium. There is a silent pause, then Kamek weakly sits up and the arena explodes in cheers; the Koopa Kids have to restrain Bowser from leaping into the fighting area to bear Kamek away on his shoulders. ! Luigi and Mario can be heard announcing over the din.
 
Mario: Well, I hope all of you enjoyed tonight's fight! Be sure to come back next week for another thrilling Nintendoland Deathmatch!
 
Luigi: And as they say on Celebrity Deathmatch, good fight, good night!

This deathmatch was written by Lance and The Anmonyonus Ness Fan.