NintendoLand Deathmatch summary
Bomber Man VS. Mega Man

The Nintendoland Deathmatch Stadium is packed, as usual. Folks from all walks of life crowd the seating area of the stadium. The rich and the poor, the good and the bad, the tall and the small, all are waiting anxiously for the match to begin. Suddenly, a bright flare rockets into the sky and explodes in a blinding flash of light. Harmless sparks rain down into the arena, as the masters of ceremony enter the hosting box. These are the world famous Super Mario Brothers, Mario and Luigi. The crowd cheers loudly as everyone's favorite plumbers take their seats and grab their microphones.
 
Mario: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Are you ready for some action tonight?
 
The crowd lets out an overwhelmingly enthusiastic cheer, as if to answer in the positive.
 
Luigi: That's good, because tonight, we shall all witness what just may be the biggest battle ever to hit this stadium! The two most powerful robots ever built shall be fighting for the title of electronic champion!
 
More cheers from the crowd convey the spectators' enthusiasm.
 
Mario: First up, we have a spunky little hero from a far off planet. He's the galaxy's foremost expert on explosives, and has used that knowledge and skill to keep the peace on his home world, suppressing such threats as the Five Bad Bombers, the oil-sucking Count Dracuboom, the evil hordes of the Garaden Empire, and even our own cousin Wario!
 
Luigi: Yes, we particularly like Bomberman for the fact that he beat the stuffing out of our cousin Wario.
 
Mario: Wario needed to be taken down a peg or two anyway.
 
Luigi: Definitely the black sheep of the family, Mario.
 
Mario: Indeed.
 
Luigi: He's a troublemaker, Mario! A troublemaker!
 
Mario: Yes, all right, Luigi, I know. Anyway, he's Player One in our line-up! Please welcome, all the way from Planet Bomber, the only white Bomberman!
 
The only white-helmeted Bomberman in existence suddenly swoops out of the night sky, carried by an innovative-looking jetpack. Bomberman does a few swoops through the air above the cheering crowd before landing in the middle of the arena. The jetpack retracts itself into a compartment built into Bomberman's torso as the little robot waves to the crowd.
 
Luigi: If Bomberman is powerful, our Player Two for tonight is at least equally strong. Coming from the far off city of Monsteropolis, he has devoted his life to squelching the evil schemes of the mad Dr. Wily. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Blue Bomber, the original Mega Man!
 
The crowd cheers once more as a streaky blue blur drops out of nowhere and lands in the middle of the arena, turning into Mega Man on contact with the ground.
 
Mario: And as a special treat, before we start the fight, we have with us a special guest host, joining us for this night only! He's the world's foremost expert on robotics! Please welcome Dr. Light!
 
The crowd cheers and claps as Dr. Light, creator of the Mega Man prototypes, joins the Mario Bros. in the hosting box.
 
Luigi: Good evening, doctor. It's a pleasure to have you here tonight.
 
Dr. Light: It's a pleasure to be here tonight, Luigi.
 
Mario: We were hoping you could provide us and the crowd with a little insight on what course this battle is likely to take.
 
Dr. Light: I will do that, of course, Mario. And I shall, of course, act in an unbiased manner. After all, I've wanted to introduce Mega Man to this type of a challenge for a long time.
 
Luigi: Who would you say has the best chance to win, doctor?
 
Dr. Light: Well, Mega Man is probably more durable than Bomberman, and able to sustain more damage. But Bomberman is most assuredly quicker, and has more built-in accessories. It's hard to say who is the more intelligent robot.
 
Mega Man: Why, I'm the most intelligent, of course!
 
Bomberman: Yeah? And how do you figure that, Blue Boy?
 
Mega Man: Simple. My internal computer processor holds more data than yours.
 
Bomberman: Oh yeah? Prove it!
 
Mega Man: Gladly. Computer!
 
A red light flashes across Mega Man's chest plate, and a mechanical voice comes to life.
 
Computer: Yes, Mega Man, sir?
 
Mega Man: Compute! The square root of five divided by 3.45% times 47.8945 degrees Celsius rounded to the nearest hundredth minus 16 to the tenth power divided by e=mc squared minus 5%!
 
Computer: Just one question.
 
Mega Man: Yes?
 
Computer: What does "compute" mean?
 
Bomberman snickers as Mega Man bangs his chest plate a few times. Mario, meanwhile, yells down from the hosting box.
 
Mario: Um…guys. The audience is getting restless. I wonder if you two could just start slapping each other around a bit, perhaps?
 
Bomberman: Slap? I'll do more than slap! I'll blow his socks off! Literally!
 
Mega Man: It's too bad for you that I don't wear socks, Lightbulb Head!
 
Mega Man and Bomberman begin advancing towards each other, slowly. By the position of Bomberman's hands, it looks as if he is getting ready to pull out a bomb. Mega Man, meanwhile, is readying his Mega Buster Arm Cannon. Suddenly, at blinding speed, it happens. The quick Bomberman produces a bomb and hurls it on a straight trajectory path at Mega Man. Mega Man doesn't even have time to react before the bomb hits him and explodes, sending him flying backwards.
 
Luigi: Wow. That was a good shot. If Bomberman keeps pulling moves like that, then Mega Man is finished.
 
Dr. Light: Indeed, that was quite good. But don't count Mega Man out yet. He's very tenacious and has lots of guts.
 
Mega Man, meanwhile, has recovered from his explosive experience. There is no damage to his operating systems, so he begins to set his Mega Buster on SUPER CHARGE setting.
 
Bomberman: You're lucky, Blue Boy. That bomb was just designed to stun you. This next one is going to hurt!
 
But before Bomberman can yank out his second bomb, Mega Man lets fly with a charge from his Mega Buster. A five-foot tall fireball hits Bomberman and blasts him through the air. The bemused pyromaniac comes to rest at the other end of the stadium.
 
Bomberman: Did anyone get the license number of that 747?
 
Mega Man: Ha! What a wimp! Another shot will send you to the scrap heap!
 
Bomberman: Wimp?! No one has ever said that to me and been able to remember it! I'm going to blow you clear through the troposphere!
 
Bomberman throws another bomb Mega Man's way. But Mega Man is ready this time, and dodges to the left. He immediately raises his Mega Buster and fires several small shots at Bomberman, but Bombsy, with incredible agility, dodges them all. After the barrage ceases, Bomberman immediately pulls out a third bomb and skillfully kicks it straight at Mega Man. This one hits Mega Man and blasts him clear across the arena.
 
Bomberman: Chew on that if you can!
 
Mega Man: You think you're such hot stuff with those bombs, don't you? Well, little do you realize I've got some explosives of my own! Taste the devestation of my Crash Bombs!
 
Mega Man pulls out three small Crash Bombs and throws them at Bomberman, one by one. But Bomberman doesn't seem worried. In fact, he stretches out his arms and catches the three explosives.
 
Bomberman: Do you honestly think you can hurt me with these? Do you realize how long I've been around bombs? I cut my teeth on bombs! I played with bombs when I was just a baby microchip! I drink nitroglycerin at meal times! Get a load of this!
 
Much to the amazement of the crowd, and the frustration of Mega Man, Bomberman begins to juggle the three Crash Bombs, effortlessly bouncing them off his hands and feet. Then he does a handstand, using only his feet to juggle the bombs.
 
Bomberman: Look, Ma! No hands!
 
Finally, just before the fuses on the Crash Bombs burn to a finish, Bomberman leaps to his feet and effortlessly kicks all three bombs back to Mega Man. The bombs explode against Mega Man all at once, sending him rocketing through the air once again, to land in a sparking, fizzing heap in the corner of the arena.
 
Mario: Wow. It looks like this fight is over.
 
Mega Man: Not quite! I may be sparking and short-circuiting, but I brought along a little trinket, just in case!
 
The crowd watches as Mega Man removes a small box-shaped object from his storage compartment and plugs it into an outlet on his chest plate. Instantly, the damage on Mega Man's body begins to disappear. He stops smoking and springs to his feet again.
 
Mega Man: An Energy Capsule! These little wonders have come in very handy on my various adventures. Now I shall crush you!
 
Bomberman: You may have escaped your fate for now, but I'm willing to bet that you don't have anymore of those Energy Capsules!
 
Mega Man: Perhaps not! But I do have THIS!
 
With that, Mega Man produces a large saw blade and, with a flick of the wrist, spins it towards Bombsy, who barely manages to dodge.
 
Mega Man: The Metal Blade is something I took off of one of Wily's goons in one of my earliest adventures! It worked against him, and it'll work against you as well!
 
Bomberman: Not if it can't reach me, Blue Butt!
 
Bomberman presses a button on the side of his head, and the antennae on the top of his noggin opens up to reveal a compact helicopter blade. The copter spins faster and faster until Bombsy is lifted up into the air.
 
Bomberman: Now, while I'm out of harm's way, I'll eliminate you with my OTHER brand of explosives!
 
A miniature launcher appears on Bomberman's wrist. As he hovers above the arena, a small missile fires from the wrist launcher and rockets towards Mega Man. Mega Man hits the dirt just as the missile goes whistling above his head.
 
Bomberman: Who's the wimp now, eh?
 
Mega Man: Very clever, Shortie! But not even you can fight the wind!
 
Bomberman: Huh? What do you mean by that?
 
Mega Man doesn't answer. Instead, he presses a button on his own head. A large cannon jolts out of his torso and aims itself at the hovering Bombsy. Mega Man presses another switch and a powerful gust of air rushes out of the cannon.
 
Mega Man: The Air Shooter is another momento from a fight with Wily. And it should be enough to put you into a tailspin!
 
True enough, Bomberman's copter is affected by the strong gust of wind, and spins out of control, taking Bombsy with it. Bombsy is horrified to see that he is being blown straight towards the stadium lights.
 
Bomberman: Yikes!!!
 
Luigi: Mega Man, I would really rather that you wouldn't do that! Stadium lights are awfully difficult to replace these days!
 
But Mega Man pays no attention to Luigi's plea, as he drives the hapless Bombsy into the lights. A shower of sparks erupts from the lights and all the bulbs explode. Bomberman slowly peels himself off of the ruined lights and falls to the ground.
 
Bomberman: Now….that…..(cough)……went beyond the lines……of good taste!
 
Mega Man: Just admit it, Short Stuff! You're finished!
 
Bomberman: You think so, eh? Well, try this on for size!
 
Bomberman produces a bomb and focuses complete concentration on it. Amazingly, it swells in size, and grows bigger and bigger. Within seconds, it is six times the size of Bomberman himself, and still growing.
 
Luigi: Holy cow, Mario! Look at the size of that thing! It could blow up the whole stadium!
 
Mario: You're right, Luigi! Quick! Hit the button!
 
Luigi hits a button to his left. Instantly, a thick dome of titanium folds itself over Bomberman and Mega Man, protecting the hosts and the audience from the enormous bomb. Just before the explosion, everyone can hear Bomberman yelling.
 
Bomberman: Now you will face the full power of Bomberman!! Wa ha ha ha!
 
Then, a deafening explosion shakes the very earth, causing everyone to almost fall out of their seats. Mario, Luigi, and Dr. Light all sprawl across the floor of the hosting box, covering their ears. Finally, when all is quiet, Luigi gets up and presses the button a second time, pulling the titanium shield away. The audience sees both Bomberman and Mega Man lying on the ground, dusted in a light shade of burnt black. As the crowd watches tensely, the two robots begin to move. Amazingly, Bomberman and Mega Man both rise to their feet. They are both a little wobbly, but seem unhurt otherwise.
 
Bomberman: Oh man! I underestimated the power of that blast. My ears are going to ring for weeks.
 
Mario: Holy cow, doc! You weren't just whistling dixie when you said that these robots were durable! I don't think they're even scratched!
 
But Mario is wrong. Both robots suffer from some form of damage. Mega Man, however, is not as handicapped as Bomberman suddenly finds himself to be.
 
Bomberman: Holy Hanna! I can't move! My legs won't move! That last explosion must have damaged my Motion Systems. I can't walk forward!
 
Bomberman is frozen, standing on the spot, as Mega Man slowly lurches towards him.
 
Mega Man: I'm coming for you, Bomberman!
 
Bomberman: Oh no! This isn't fair! I can't move! Got to keep him away. What weapons do I have left?
 
Bomberman examines himself and finally comes to the sad conclusion that he has almost depleted his resources.
 
Bomberman: Blast! All I have left is my Ice Bomb. But I'll have to use it.
 
Mega Man: Bomberman, prepare yourself for that big scrap heap in the sky!
 
Bomberman: Got to make this one shot count…..
 
Mega Man: I'm going to use you as spare parts for my clock radio!
 
Bomberman: Now!
 
Bomberman heaves the Ice Bomb at his opponent. It lands at Mega Man's feet and explodes in a shower of mist. Seconds later, Mega Man is dismayed to see that his own feet are trapped in a block of ice.
 
Bomberman: All right! Bull's-eye! The only question is, what do I do now? I may have him stuck, but I can't move and I have no more weapons.
 
Bomberman has no more time to ponder his situation, however, as Mega Man raises his Mega Buster into the air and brings it down hard on the block of ice. The ice shatters, leaving Mega Man free to move once again.
 
Bomberman: Mother said there'd be days like this….
 
As the crowd watches, Mega Man lets loose a huge shot from his Mega Buster. The beam crashes into Bomberman, sending him flying. He collides with the stadium wall and falls to the ground. He struggles to pick himself up again, but is having difficulty. It is now that Bombsy realizes that his legs are gone.
 
Bomberman: AAAAUUGH! My legs! You've blown my legs off!
 
Mega Man: Well, I had to make it a theatrical finish, didn't I?
 
Mario: Well, since Bomberman has been rendered immobile, that means that Mega Man has won the match.
 
Dr. Light: Well, thank you for having me, gentlemen. It was a most intriguing event.
 
Bomberman: You jerk! You small-headed, cannon-blowing, pompous, blue jerk! Do you realize how expensive leg replacements are?
 
Mega Man: Hey, consider yourself lucky. I could have blown off your head instead.
 
Bomberman: I would RATHER you blew off my head! The replacement parts would have been cheaper! Damn it, I spent my last fifty bucks getting here! What am I supposed to do now?
 
Mega Man: Look, I'm sorry, all right. You think I don't sympathize? I remember, last year, I was forced to blow an entire week's pay on a new Intelligence Transistor.
 
Bomberman: Yeah, well, you're not the one who can't even get to the door.
 
Mega Man: Look, just to show you that there are no hard feelings, I'll give you the number of my personal technician. He'll be able to outfit you with some new legs for a relatively low cost.
 
Bomberman: Is he any good?
 
Mega Man: Oh, heck yes. After I was blown to pieces by Samus Aran, he was able to re-assemble me within a 48-hour period, at a minimum cost of $300.
 
Bomberman: Wow! Is he savvy in flux capacitators? Mine has been leaking a bit.
 
Mega Man: Flux capacitators and everything that goes with them. Would you believe he was able to completely fix my entire Information Download System with nothing but a Pipe Cleaner?
 
Bomberman: Good heavens! You know, I've been meaning to try that sometime…..
 
Mario: Um….ladies. If you two are done chatting, we'd like Mega Man to come over here and claim his Victory Medal.
 
Mega Man: Oh, right!
Luigi: Well, that was certainly an…..interesting match. And don't worry. We'll see that Bomberman gets to the repairman safely. Anyway, we hope you all enjoyed the event, and on behalf of Mario, Dr. Light, and myself, have a good night. .

 
This summary was written by: Metal Mario