NintendoLand Deathmatch summary
Mario VS. Ganondorf

Somewhere in the heart of the Nintendo World, there is a place. More specifically, a large stadium, where battles are fought weekly between the champions of this universe. Every week, throngs of curious spectators flock to this arena, hoping to witness incredible excitement and remarkable feats. The crowd never goes away disappointed.
As snack boys run up and down the aisles, and the spectators begin to get restless, a huge explosion suddenly lights up the sky, demanding the attention of the crowd. The sparks of the explosion fall into place against the night sky until they form a perfect image of the faces of Nintendo's two biggest heroes, the Super Mario Brothers.
As the crowd cheers, Mario and Luigi enter the high hosting box and address their public.
 
Mario: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! And welcome!
 
The crowd cheers as Luigi takes his turn.
 
Luigi: We're glad you could all make it tonight. We've had some pretty wild fights in the past, but tonight's battle is undoubtedly the most important of them all.
 
The crowd holds their breath in anticipation while Luigi explains.
 
Luigi: It seems that a villain from the medieval times of Hyrule has mastered the art of time travel, and has arrived in our own present time. That person is Ganondorf Dragmire.
 
The crowd gasps in recognition. As children, they had all read about Ganon in their history books. They had learned all about his power, and his epic battles against the Link family. Anyone who got higher than a D in history class knows about Ganon.
 
Luigi: Most of our armies have fallen to Ganondorf's might, as he has the Triforce of Power on his side. His goal is to conquer our world and claim it for his own. He surely would have succeeded already if we hadn't come forth with a deal.
 
The crowd murmurs among themselves, wondering what that deal could be.
 
Luigi: Ganon said that he wishes to challenge our strongest soldier. After much decision, we decided that that would be Mario. Out of this arrangement, we made a proposition. If Mario wins, Ganon must surrender his attempts to conquer us and return to his own timeline. If Mario loses, Ganon gets the world.
 
Mario: Luigi, you're stressing me out.
 
Luigi: Sorry, Mario. I just want to make sure you know that the whole world is depending on you. All the plants, animals, trees, cities, people, men, women, children, and freedom will be totally devastated if you lose! If you fail to defeat Ganon in combat, all that we know and cherish will become dust! We'll be enslaved! Or killed! It will be the end of time as we know it!
 
Mario: Luigi, shut up!
 
Luigi: Are you nervous, Mario?
 
Mario: Well, I wasn't before you started talking like that! Damn, I don't know if I want to go through with this!
 
Luigi: You have to, Mario! Now go on! Get down there! I'll announce you!
 
Nervously, Mario descends the stairs from the hosting box, into the arena. Luigi continues on the microphone.
 
Luigi: Before I announce our last hope for survival, I must first introduce our guest host for tonight. We had originally planned to bring our well-known friend, Link the First, in here, but he was previously engaged. So, we did a bit of time traveling of our own, and came back with one of his more famous descendants. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Link the Second!
 
Mario: Eh? Link the Second?
 
Luigi: Mario, for once in your life, could you please try and understand the bloodline thing when I explain it to you? Link the Second is the second hero to wield the legendary Master Sword, and was the hero to fight for Hyrule during the kingdom's Light World/Dark World era.
 
Mario: Uh…what?
 
Luigi: (Sigh) He's the Link from the SNES and Game Boy games, Mario!
 
Mario: Oh, right!
 
Luigi: This is the biggest damn déjà vu anyone's ever had…
 
The crowd cheers as Link the Second strolls into the stadium and up to the hosting box. This man looks quite similar to Link the First, except for the fact that he doesn't wear tights, and that his hair has a reddish tint to it.
 
Luigi: Welcome, Link. From our positions, I gather that we're both rooting for Mario.
 
Link: Well, I'm certainly not going to cheer for that evil pig from Gerudo Valley. Ooh, just thinking about him makes me furious. If he even so much as looks at me the wrong way, I'll cut his spleen out and feed it to him on a silver platter!
 
Luigi:….Okay, well, I guess it's time to introduce the contestants for tonight. Player One is already in the arena, as you can see. He's our last chance for survival, and the only thing standing between us and Ganon. Ladies and gents, please hand your support to Mario!
 
The crowd cheers for Mario as Link the Second takes the microphone.
 
Link: You already know about Player Two as well. The dirty, rotten, low-down, cheating son of a biscuit who has threatened to devastate you all. The bearer of the Triforce of Power and the self-proclaimed King of Evil, Ganondorf Dragmire!
 
The crowd boos and jeers as a large blue bat flies into the arena and lands on the ground. Suddenly, a cloud of smoke forms around the bat, which grows larger and larger and more human-like until it transforms completely into Ganon.
 
Ganon: So, we are finally able to begin, eh?
 
Mario: Yeah, we're ready! And you'd better be ready to receive the butt-kicking of your life!
 
Ganon: Foolish plumber! I don't believe that you are the strongest warrior they could muster. I could crush you like an insect with nothing but a thought!
 
Mario: That may be true, but have you ever unclogged a three-gallon-flush toilet using nothing but a TV antenna?
 
Luigi: All right, Mario! Get ready! Make us proud! And…go!
 
Mario and Ganon sum each other up in their minds, trying to anticipate what the other man will do first. Finally, Ganon decides to rise into the air and hover over the ground. As he hovers, sparks of electricity form around his hand.
 
Ganon: Prepare to die, plumber!
 
The sparks form into a bright sphere of raw electricity. Laughing, Ganon throws it towards Mario. But Mario, using his phenomenal jumping ability, leaps into the air and over to the side, getting well out of the way of the blast.
 
Mario: That was a nice try, friend, but you're going to have to do a bit better than that if you want to best this plumber!
 
Ganon: I intend to!
 
Ganon opens his arms wide and chants a short incantation to himself. Suddenly, his red cape bursts wide open and a dozen fiery creatures launch themselves into the arena.
 
Ganon: Fiery Keese. See if you can deal with that assault, little man!
 
The Fiery Keese fly at Mario. Mario quickly throws himself to the ground as the swarm of bats swoop over him, attempting to bite him in passing. While Mario is busy dodging the Keese, Ganon descends to the ground and produces a long trident, which he waves in front of him like a sword.
 
Ganon: Time to pay the piper, plumber!
 
Ganon's trident suddenly glows with white light and flies out of his hands, on a direct course for Mario. Seeing it, Mario ducks to the ground again and watches the trident fly over him and crash into the Fiery Keese, who had just begun their return trip to Mario. The bats disappear as the Trident swings through them. Mario jumps to his feet.
 
Mario: So, anymore bright ideas, Mr. King-of-Evil?
 
Ganon: Just one.
 
Mario doesn't know what Ganon means by this until he is struck in the back by something and knocked to the ground again. It is Ganon's trident, boomeranging back to him. Ganon catches the trident and begins to charge it again.
 
Ganon: Foolish insect! Prepare to meet thy doom!
 
Mario: You think you're the only one with funky weapons, eh? Well, get a load of this!
 
Mario reaches into his overalls pocket and pulls out a small, round, metal object.
 
Mario: A Superball. I picked it up on my adventures in Sarasaland. Catch!
 
Mario throws the Superball just as Ganon lets loose with an electrical blast from his trident. The Superball bounces off of the blast, deflecting the attack into nothing. But the ball doesn't stop there. It careens all over the arena, finally coming to rest on Ganon's forehead. The villain grunts in discomfort as he falls over backwards.
 
Mario: Geez, this is too easy! I thought that you'd be just a bit tougher, at least!
 
Ganon: Then what I'm about to do next won't disappoint you!
 
Ganon raises his trident into the air and brings it down hard on he ground. The whole arena shakes, making little pieces of the walls chip off. Mario loses his balance and falls to the ground. But Ganon doesn't stop there. As he raises his hands skyward, the entire wall behind Mario begins to fall. Mario manages to roll out of the way just in time to avoid being squashed by the wall.
 
Luigi: Come on, Mario! I know you can do better! Give him what for!
 
Link: Yeah! Whomp him a wet one!
 
Ganon: He's in no position to do anything! He's finished!
 
Mario: You might want to rethink that one, pal! I've still got more tricks up my sleeve!
 
Mario produces a small green shoe and drops it on the ground. Strangely enough, the shoe has a wind-up key in the back. Mario turns it, and the shoe becomes bigger and bigger until it is large enough for Mario to ride inside of.
 
Mario: Now, taste the fury of Kuribo's Shoe!
 
Ganon: Oh dear! A big green boot! I think I might faint from the sheer horror of it all!
 
Mario: You'll be laughing out of the other side of your face by the time I've kicked your butt back to Hyrule!
 
The shoe immediately begins to jump towards Ganon, carrying Mario with it. Ganon raises his hands and fires several bolts of shocking electricity at the shoe. But his attacks have no effect.
 
Mario: Ha! Bet you didn't know that this shoe has a rubber sole, did you?
 
Luigi: That's it, Mario! Do the 90-Degree Kick!
 
Before Ganon can react to this surprising development, the shoe leaps higher than usual, clearing Ganon. As the shoe leaps over Ganon, it flips over into a 90-Degree angle and lands a powerful kick right in his backside. Screaming, Ganon goes flying all the way across the arena and hits the far wall. He collapses to the ground, trying to catch his breath.
 
Luigi: All right! Score one for the good guys!
 
Link: Good show, Mario! I wish I had something like that!
 
Ganon: All right! That's the final insult! I'm finished beating around the bush! Prepare to witness, for yourself, the full fury of the Triforce of Power!
 
Ganon's entire body begins to glow and shimmer with blinding bright light. Before the very eyes of the audience, Ganon begins to change. He grows bigger, and less human-like with each passing second, until the light vanishes, and he stands before the world in his new form. He is now five times the size of Mario, and fairly bursting with muscle. His eyes glow with a new evil, and two massive swords have appeared in his hands.
 
Ganon: Gwa ha ha ha ha! Pitiful fool! The King of Evil is invincible!
 
Luigi: I don't like where this is going…
 
It is clear that Mario isn't too thrilled either, as Ganon has now launched a vicious assault against him. The dwarfed plumber hops, skips, and jumps for his life, as Ganon enthusiastically swings his immense swords through the air.
 
Luigi: Come on, Mario! Don't be intimidated! Show him who's the hero!
 
Mario: That's easy for you to say! You're not the one fighting down here!
 
While Mario is busy voicing his opinion to Luigi, Ganon has changed his battle strategy. He now slams his two massive swords hard against the ground, causing the whole arena to shake. Mario loses his balance and falls to the ground. Ganon immediately whispers a spell to himself, and a rain of scorching fireballs suddenly plummets from the sky, down into the arena. Even with his impressive acrobatics, Mario is unable to dodge all of the flames, and one of them succeeds in lighting the seat of his pants on fire. While Mario drops to the ground again in order to put the fire out, Ganon continues his onslaught. A rain of sizable boulders replaces the fireballs, crashing down into the arena. Mario barely manages to dodge the huge stones, only to be caught by Ganon's vile new tail and thrashed back into one of the fallen boulders. Mario hits the rock as if it were a brick wall and slumps dizzily to his feet.
 
Link: Your brother doesn't seem to be doing awfully well, does he?
 
Luigi: He's been up against worse. I'm sure he'll win.
 
But Mario doesn't seem quite so sure of himself, and Ganon is even less confident in his opponent's abilities. In fact, he now begins to taunt the plumber.
 
Ganon: I don't believe it! You're supposed to be this timeline's strongest warrior? You're not even strong enough to defeat my mother, and she's dead!
 
Mario: Yeah, and you're probably the one who killed her.
 
Ganon: That's beside the point! Besides, she was getting to be a bit of a nuisance. I positively couldn't stand her beastly tuna casserole!
 
Before Mario can respond to this, Ganon has put another spell into action. Huge jagged rocks shoot up from the ground, doing their best to impale Mario, while sharp blades rain down from above. As the blades cut into Mario's skin, the plucky plumber quickly reaches into his overalls pocket and pulls out a heavy metal object in the shape of a hat. He hastily slaps it onto his head, and his whole body is instantly coated with a glossy steel sheen.
 
Mario: Ha! These attacks have no effect against Metal Mario! You can't beat me now!
 
Ganon: Do you know what I've heard?
 
Mario: What have you heard?
 
Ganon: I've heard that metal is an excellent conductor of electricity.
Mario:Um…..uh oh.
 
A huge, crackling ball of electricity forms in front of Ganon's claws. Immediately, it fires itself at Mario.
 
Luigi: Mario! Get rid of the Metal Cap! Quickly!
 
But it is too late. The shocking sphere hits Mario full force, sending thousands of volts coursing through his body. Mario screams as the electricity finally crackles to a finish and ebbs out of his body. Fortunately for Mario, his metal frame allowed him to survive the attack, but he is very weakened. He lies on the ground, struggling to stay conscious, while Ganon laughs at him.
 
Link: I don't believe it! I always knew Ganon was evil, but I never dreamed he'd go this far! He's just electrocuted our company's flagship character!
 
Luigi doesn't answer Link. Instead, he holds his breath, hoping that his brother will be able to recover. But Mario shows no sign of doing so.
 
Ganon: Ha! Weakling! Your pitiful attacks are nothing against me!
 
Mario: Can't…give up…gotta fight…oh, my head…Mom, is that you…?
 
Ganon slowly stomps in, going for the kill. But even as the evil prince of darkness closes in, the audience begins to make a noise. Just a few people at first, then a few more, then a lot, then the whole crowd. They are stamping their feet on the floor, clapping their hands, and chanting their hero's name in unison.
 
Audience: Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario!
 
Up in the hosting box, Luigi and Link join in. Ganon stops his advance on Mario and turns to the crowd. He can't believe it. His future subjects are cheering this loser. Ganon roars in fury.
 
Ganon: Stop that! Stop chanting! Stop it!
 
The crowd stops chanting Mario's name, but doesn't clam up. Instead, they begin to chant a new phrase.
 
Audience: Save our world! Save our world! Save our world!
 
Mario, hearing this chant, slowly begins to regain himself. Here he was, mankind's last hope for salvation from this power-hungry maniac he now faced. If he were to fail, Ganon would conquer the world. Complete devastation would suffocate the land. Most of the people here would either be dead or enslaved by this time tomorrow. Mario couldn't allow that to happen. He couldn't allow Ganon to win. The crowd was right. He must save the world!
 
Ganon: Shut up, all of you! Stop chanting!
 
The crowd stops chanting, and Ganon turns to finish off Mario. But Mario is already on his feet again. The crowd cheers and applauds as Mario regains his heroic bearings. Ganon is stunned with surprise.
 
Mario: All right, Gruesome! This is it! You invade our timeline, defeat our armies, and think you can merely take the world, just like that! Power isn't everything, Ganon! You've forgotten the kind of effect that little things like faith, pride, confidence, and love can do! If you want this world, you sadistic, demented bastard, you'll have to take it over my dead body!
 
Ganon: Have it your way!
 
Ganon roars and stampedes towards his hated foe. But Mario doesn't scramble away. Instead, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out another hat. This one looks semi-transparent. Mario flops it onto his head, and is instantly transformed. The heroic plumber splits up into a combined mass, made up of his separate bodily components. As Ganon stampedes towards him, Mario performs an acrobatic leap and propels himself directly through Ganon's midsection, and out the other side, thanks to the power of the Vanish Cap. Realizing his opponent is no longer in front of him, Ganon grinds to a halt and spins around. Mario doffs the Vanish Cap and pulls one more object from his pocket.
 
Mario: If I remember my history lessons correctly, your weakness is supposed to be silver. Now, I don't have any arrows on me, but I do have this antique letter opener! Very sharp, and made of pure silver!
 
Ganon stops in his tracks and fixes a horrified glare on the letter opener.
 
Link: Yes! Good show! He's practically allergic to silver! Let him have it!
 
Before Ganon can react, Mario hurls the silver letter opener through the air. It cuts into Ganon's left shoulder, making him scream in agony and drop to the ground. The King of Evil is now paralyzed and cannot bring himself to move.
 
Luigi: Yes! Go, Mario! Take advantage of the tail!
 
Heeding Luigi's words, Mario runs around behind the paralyzed Ganon and grabs onto his long tail.
 
Mario: Well, this worked with Bowser, so why not now?
 
With tremendous strength, powered mostly by adrenaline, Mario spins Ganon by his tail, faster and faster until he's flying through the air around the much-cheered plumber.
 
Mario: Luigi! Open the Time Warp!
 
Luigi: No problem, Mario! I have the Song of Time hooked up to the stereo system!
 
Luigi pulls a lever and the enchanting Song of Time begins to play its hypnotic chords throughout the stadium. Amazingly, a blue-tinted portal opens in mid-air.
 
Mario: Well, Gruesome, to coin a classic phrase, WELCOME TO WARP ZONE!
 
Ganon: No! I was so close! It can't end like this!
 
Mario swings Ganon two more times before letting him go. The King of Evil flies through the air, on a direct course for the portal. Just before he enters the magical gateway, he has time to scream one more threat.
 
Ganon: Curse you, plumber! You've ruined my victory! But I'll be back! I'll destroy you! And then I shall rule this world!
 
Then Ganon disappears into the portal, on his way back through time and space to Fifteenth Century Hyrule. The crowd cheers as they realize that they are now safe from the cruel oppression of Ganon. Several members of the audience run down from their seats and lift Mario onto their shoulders, carrying the triumphant hero around the arena.
 
Luigi: Well, that's a remarkable relief, I must say. I guess all of us will have a home to go home to tonight. Speaking of which, it's about time to adjourn to our humble abode. We hope that you enjoyed the battle, and the victory, as much as we did, and we'll see you next week. Until then, this is Mario, Link the Second, and myself, signing off. Good night, everybody!
 
 
This summary was written by the king of Deathmatch summaries: Metal Mario