NintendoLand Deathmatch summary
Zora Link VS. Frog Mario

A big, transparent blue object was sure to catch the spectators' eyes this evening. 'Object' may not be the right word to use since that word rarely is used to describe things larger than a cow-house. A 'gigantic installation' might be a better word to use, but then again we could just call it a aquarium since that was what it was.
 
Luigi: welcome to another night with blood, popcorn and bruises. Welcome to the NintendoLand deathmatches...! As you can see Mario won't be sitting here today since he will be one of the contestants tonight. I tried to get another to help me with the commenting of this match, but no-one bothered... Well, Waluigi did but that was out of the question. By the way, the one who wrote a Hitler mustachoe on my portrait out in the lobby, could you please refrain from such things in the future? Uhrm... The first contestant tonight: Zora Link!
 
Zora Link gracefully emerged from the depths of the water and bowed deply.
 
Luigi: And the other one Mario, with the odds against him this time.
 
Mario: Blub, blub, blub!
 
Mario shoots out of the water and lands on the ground trying to catch his breath.
 
Luigi: What's the matter Mario?
 
Mario: Nothing, I just learned that taking of the frog suit underwater isn't a very good idea...
 
Luigi: Taking off... You mean you were naked in the water?
 
Mario blushes.
 
Luigi: Ok, let's get it on!
 
They both jumped into the water. The aquarium was filled with water, no doubt, but to make things even more pleasent to watch there had been sandhills and a small cute underwater castle assembled on the bottom.
 
They both began showing of their under water swimming techniques. They swam in and out of the windows of the underwater castle, chasing eachother. Link were gracious but not at all as fast as the frog like Mario. The plumber avoided all of Links attacks and began circling around him trying to get an opportunity to get in close and give him a punch.
 
The rest were a mere blur for Mario. For the rest of the audience it looked quite awesome, though, with blue sparks and light emerging out of Zora Link's body. Mario screamed silently in the water.
 
Obviously shaken, Mario kept his distance not letting Link get that close to him again. Link tried to chock him with his magical shield but Mario tricked him every time. Then... He disapperead. Link searched, Luigi searched and the spectators searched for him, but he was nowhere to be seen.
 
Then as suddenly as he had disappeared, Mario appeared. He carried long sticky algae in his hands. He approached Zora Link from behind and managed to get him tangled up in the long green algae. Link was helpless.
 
Mario: Blub, blub, blub! (through the lip sync-o-matic-machine aquired specificly for this match this was later translated into, 'it's a me froggio! Get a load of this, sucker!')
 
Mario took aim and used his big head to headbutt his oponent. Link struggled with his chains but recieved blow after blow from the plumber.
 
Luigi: It seems like Link's out of magic power!
 
Nobody knows where Zora Link has his pockets but that's not a matter of discussion here. Either way Link picked up a small magic bottle out of his 'pockets' and drank it. In a silent but very colorful explosion of magical electricty Link was freed from his prison.
 
Mario: blub, blub. (Even the lip sync-o-matic-machine aquired specificly for this match was unable to translate this sentense. instead we just asked Mario afterwards, 'What?', he told us he had said.)
 
Zora Link sank to the bottom and used his fins as boomerangs to hit Mario in his surprised state of mind. Mario flew backwards, but made a loop and came at Link who grounded him with a nice kick. (Note: grounded is a bad word since Mario actually floated slightly upwards after the hit, but due to my extreme lazyness I used that word. ^_^)
 
Mario dodged another pair of boomerangs and took the oportunity to strike Link as he awaited the return of his fins. Link stood tall and awaited Mario's next attack. A series of kicks and punches hit the helpless Mario. Some over enthusiastic spectator at the end of the hall thought they could see the words 'K.O' appear over Mario's head. It was later established that they were just illusionating after playing Street Fighter too much...
 
Luigi: Mario is.... down!....
 
Luigi looked confused on the body that floated up to the surface.
 
Luigi: Or was it up?... Anyway, Zora Link's the winner today! Give him a big hug everyone!
 
Zora Link dived up and down like a dolphin and everyone was generally happy and excited. Maybe except for Mario who caughed up water someplace where the spotlights wouldn't reach him.
Another one who wasn't very excited right now was the Koopa who, to protect his integrity as a citisen of the Bowser Kingdom, is to be called John. John was now in the progress of sneaking out the back door before the two muscular Sumo brothers approaching in high speed would get to him and make him cough up every single penny he owe them after John's recent disastrous bet on Frog Mario.
1520 Koopa dollars was the sum, and John felt that he would never earn that much money in a lifetime anyway, so he might as well just run... He'd heard the wastelands of Koopa Walley was a nice and secluded place.
 
What's the moral of this story, then? That the life of a Koopa is a harsch one? That betting on a Mario in green tights is a not a good bet? That Luigi will from now on be called 'Hitler'? That Mario learned the joyful pleasure of swimming naked?
What are you asking me I just wrote the summary... ¨_^
 
This deathmatch summary was written by Mattias Liedholm .