“ Simian News Rover reporting! This is your trusted jungle reporter, Neuzy Kong, speaking. I’m right outside the treetop jungle home of the infamous Donkey Kong, where news reports say a situation has escalated into a scuffle between his elderly relative, Cranky Kong, and himself over some sort of missing appliance. Lets peek through the window and get a closer look, shall we?”
    “ Donkey! You idiot! You fool! You lousy punk!” Cranky barked as he held his nephew Donkey by the throat. They were both on the floor, Cranky’s hands wrapped around Donkey while he was sprawled out at Cranky’s feet.
    “ What did you do with my games?! Where are they?!” Rattled Cranky, shaking Donkey as he went.
    “ I... didn’t touch them!” Donkey choked, prying the old ape’s fingers away from his neck.
    “ You were always jealous of MY fame! You with your pathetic menagerie of Kong Countries and pointless bit appearances! While I! I had masterpieces!” Cranky snorted.
    “ Your crazy! I never touched those stupid arcade games!” Donkey replied.
    “ Stupid?! Your calling my games stupid?!” Cranky screamed, still fighting to choke Donkey.
    Diddy hunkered in the corner, watching Donkey and Cranky tumble through the house. When Donkey finally had control over the flailing arms of the crazed Cranky, Diddy shot up with a frying pan in hand and clocked Cranky in the back of the head. The blow stunned the old monkey, and he fell to the floor, dazed.
    “ Weeuu..” Donkey huffed. “ Thanks Diddy. Though you didn’t need to do that, I had him under control.”
    “ Yeah right.” Diddy snickered, hopping up to the stove and replacing the pan on the rack. “ What was all that about?”
    “ He came over yelling and screaming and before I knew it he was trying to choke me to death!”
    “ You...” Moaned Cranky from the floor. “ You fellas ought to be ashamed. Striking an innocent old man while he wasn’t looking. Why, if I was a mere five years younger... I’d toss the BOTH of you throughout the house!” He slowly picked himself from the floor.
    “ Why’d you try to kill Donkey?” Diddy asked, furrowing his brow.
    “ That big overgrown brute stole my classic arcade games!” Cranky shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Donkey. “ He’s done nothing but dispised my masterpieces all these years, and he just finally couldn’t take it anymore!”
    “ I didn’t lay a finger on those dusty old machines!” Donkey protested.
    “ Oh? Is that so?” Cranky sneered and reached behind his back. “ Then what is... This!” He bellowed retrieving a banana peel. “ I found this where my wonderful games used to be! This proves that it was you!”
    “ Oh no! Donkey!” Diddy cried, his mouth swinging open in surprise.
    “ Why that boy isn’t fit to be an organ grinder’s pet!” Cranky crackled.
    “ But... but that can be ANYONE’S banana!” Donkey clamored.
    “ After finding this little bit of evidence I went straight down into your banana horde, Donkey! And on precise calculations, I discovered you were short! By one banana! Where did that banana go, my boy?!”
    “ I.. I have no idea! I havn’t been to my banana horde all day!” Donkey muttered in a stifled voice.
    “ A likely story! A likely story!”
    “ Donkey? How could you?” Diddy whispered, his eyes wide as he stared at his hero.
    “ I didn’t do it! Diddy! You believe me, don’t you?” Donkey pleaded, looking straight back into Diddy’s pale face.
    “ Uhh... Of course I believe you Donkey...” Diddy trailed.
    “ Well if you didn’t do it... then who did?!” Cranky snarled.
    “ I dont know...” Donkey gulped.
    “ He did it...” Cranky said.
    “ Well there you have it! It seems that the once proud and masterful Donkey Kong has had a case of the green eyed monster. Stay tuned for updates as this story unfurls. Until then, I’m Neuzy Kong from Simian Ne...”
    There was a click as the television went blank, leaving the large ship’s cabin showered in dim, green light as dark clouds pushed through the sickly rays of the climbing moon.
    “ Excellent...” King K. Rool hissed, drumming his fingers on his throne’s arm rest. “ All is going according to plan. That stupid Donkey will be blamed for everything... leaving me time to steal those bananas of his and destroy Kong Island once and for all! Hahahaha!”