REVIEW: Final Fantasy 1987/1990 Famicom/NES
By: Square
Type: RPG
Players: 1
Difficulty: Pathetic

NINTENDO LAND GREAT GAME AWARD

LONG TERM INTEREST:

Hour

Day

Week

Mnth

Year

4

5

4

2

1

NINTENDO LAND'S SCORE:

Graphics

Sound

Playabl.

Lastabl.

OVERALL

92%

80%

76%

55%

79%

     After 20 revisions of a walkthrough on Final Fantasy I, and crack letters about it in my inbox, I decided to write a review on the game that made me a staff member here. So quit drinking that beer, I mean cider (this is only a FF6-FF3 connection, stupid censors), and go back to the old school with this Gestofus.


"So... What's the whole cost?"

    Well homeboys, this is the deal. Four warriors are handling their business, when they're called to save the castle. They have 400 Gil for funds, and they need to be using it corectly. After the boys are working it up, they start training and buffing up.


"Who will sense the magic, and how much does it cost?"


"Head start attack chance!"


She's welcoming the boys to the inn. These homeboys need some rest.
    So now it's time to be taking care of the princess. She was jacked by some guy named Garland. It's time to head on to the place with the Level 3 Homeboys, the Temple of... Something... Anyway, the boys are jackin' and tearin' people up with some powers. There's some equipment you can jack, but some you can't. You have to get a key, then you can break in and jack more stuff. But before that, you've got to whack Garland. So you start battling, and you win ten seconds later. He disappears, and you get to return the princess. You get a useless item for now, and gotta head back to the dance floor with your disco music.


"Please. Help us save the princess!"


We're at the destination, boys.

    So they leave you and throw you outta the game, but they build you a bridge, it's getting pretty tight for a played out game with no percussion, hardly any ability to want to play it, and no ability to last. You're getting your loot, and pumping up the southern hemisphere. You run into a b--- er, witch that is blind as a bat and you probably don't want to help her. You can't now, so get to steppin' and go to some wac city that has no houses.
   Anyway, after hyping the southern hemisphere, you jack a ship, some TNT, and blow up a section of the sea, so now you're free. You end up in a jacked up city where some whacked vampire destroyed it. The church is gone, makes sense, and you have to buy some spells, and you can't buy some of them, you've got to ADVANCE. Anyway, this might actually add some challenge and play ability to the game if you don't, but it's so boring, you'll just start turning to game off and cry.


The boys were pumped up, and the Japanese mysteriously was switched to English. How did this happen?


- Squire Nomad, signing off 79%

[Key to the reviewing system]

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